OK, these are just a joke. I didn't come up with these on my own. I got them off another page. Have fun. ;)


(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.

Help the homeless. Take me home with you.

Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

Hi. Are you legal?

Hi. You'll do.

How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?

Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?

Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!