My funny little quotes page

at the request of one of my friends, I'm now starting a litte page of funny little sayings I over hear.
  • "Don't call me poohead, you shady bitch!" me
  • "Don't make the cow eat earwax." Patrick Balding
  • "I'm stretching my ass, how about you?" Rebecca Grubb
  • "Never trust women...they have teeth." Derek Conliffe
  • "I have like 3 teats today, and 4 tomorrow" Andrew Cantino
  • "Can I call you eyelash?" Adrienne Wolfe
  • "I'm late, the birds are going to miss me!!!" Agy Gabbard
  • "I had a really good breakfast last night." me
  • "It's hotter than a witches titty out here." Brady Jamison
  • "21" Lisa Moody (don't ask, cause I don't know)
  • "Anyone can do anything they want to, but it's probably illegal." Susanna Grubb (I think)
  • "My ear isn't shedding wax today. maybe tomorrow" Lindsay Hoffman
  • "I'm nacho baby!" Crystal Joens
  • "Good cheese; good times" Lindsay Hoffman
  • "your butt." 4 freshman girls
  • "No one should be afraid of death, life is hell on earth." Crystal Jones
  • "All of a sudden there was a British guy behind me." Lauren Burke
  • "it was so stupid, I played it twice." Derik Conliffe
  • "that's my job!" Mrs. Beale
  • "Look! I can make out with my own foot!" Gnat
  • "Why don't I get a helmet??" Sarah Sexton
  • "no, The hair dryer was on, you couldn't hear me singing" Sasha Shultz
  • "and that's why they invented the waffle maker." me
  • "Is this too complicated for your little brains?" Mme Simms
  • "You know Art, it's a good thing you're not a girl, because you'd be a smelly, hairy, saggy boobed mess." Art's mom
  • "you know where the popular people sit? I don't sit there" gnat
  • "but garbage men have pretty big egos, or so I've heard." Me
  • "Oh my God, they've killed 3 bus drivers in one day!!" Art
  • "...so that would be cool, if you were British" Art
  • "I wish I could date a gay guy, they're so sweet, except he'd be gay, so there'd be that little problem." unknown
  • "What paper clips are you talking about??? Are you sniffing glue again?" Brian Dunphy
  • "Man, you're such a girl." Kory Fuller
  • "Well you see, sometime's a man's got to do what a man's got to do, but in my case, it was an accident." Ruben Quinones
  • "Cabage, Pimp, crib, oh great hogposh, you're just trying to confuse me." me
  • "[I'll] teach your grandmother to suck eggs." Jamie Lewis
  • "That hole's too small for Elvis! How are you gonna fit a jeep in it?" Art
  • "5 Pounds?!?!? You should have told them to get stuffed!" Some English Guy
  • "My foreign land have many economic problem, we have only eat dirt." I have no clue
  • "These stairs can't handle me!!" Art
  • "Are you pissed off, or are you eating?" me
  • some various guy: "do you have any bengay?"
    Crystal: "nope, never been gay in my life."