Some of these may be inappropriate for young children. If you have a new quote to add, mail me.
"They say if you outlaw guns, only criminals and outlaws will have
guns. Well, shit, those are precisely the people who need
them."
-George Carlin
"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them
beaten."
-George Carlin
Chief Joseph's Surrender Speech after Bears Paw Battle
"Humankind cannot bear too much reality."
-T.S. Eliot
"Fifteen hundred years ago people knew that the earth was the
center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, people knew the
Earth was flat. Fifteen minutes ago you knew humans were alone in
this universe. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."
-Agent K, Men in Black
"Ouch! There's the door!"
-Matt Hutchinson, after walking down a dark stairway
"Nothing you design ever works, Cantino!"
-Dyami Krasko
Love sucks. Life sucks. Living sucks. Burn things.
-Chris Yeauger
I am the echo of time.
-Topequa, Grand Master of all Magic
Smile now, before all is lost.
-Red, Grand Master Pyromancer at large
When convention and science offer us no answers, may we finally turn to
the fantastic as a plausibility?
-Fox Mulder
First you take a run at la fors with a sock full of quarters. i'd do it,
but i pulled my back out humpin' your mom last night. nooge. okay, you
clock him on his headpiece and knock his ass out cold. that's when phase
two kicks in. i attack the structure wolvey berzerk style and knock out the
fuckin' pin and bigity bam, the mother fucker is rubble, hence no game
show.
-Jay, from Mallrats.
"I'm an asshole trying to be a nice guy!"
-Matt Hutchinson
"Do you really have your own words? Hey, I've been using the same ones as
everyone else."
-George Carlin, comedian
"Wherever there's a crowd, there's an idiot. And as soon as something is
made idiot-proof, they make a better idiot."
-Adam Sheffer
"Destroying an empire to win a battle is no victory."
-Klingon Emperor Kahless
"He who stands on toilet is high on pot."
-A friend who shall remain nameless (Thanks Google!)
"I don't need to stand on a toilet to smoke pot."
-Beth Barber, in response to the quote above
"Smoke gunpowder....it blows your mind."
-A friend who shall remain nameless (Thanks Google!)
"You suck! You suck!"
-Beth Barber
"Reality is an opinion."
-Phil Prudich
"Immature is a state of mind. I should know. I run the place."
-Jeremy Roth
"There are no winners in life. Everyone dies in the end."
-Matt Hutchinson
"Get stoned: Drink liquid cement."
-A friend who shall remain nameless (Thanks Google!)
"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!"
-Some drunk guy
"I believe in swordfish! He believes in swordfish!"
-The Dead Milkmen
"Hello, father, yes, son, I want to kill you."
-Jim Morrison
"Hello, mother, yes son, I want to IAAAAHHHAA!"
-Jim Morrison
"Some people say the saddest thing is when a father out-lives his son.
Actually, I could see an upside to it."
-Abe Simpson
"Doh!"
-Homer Simpson
"I believe in happy days, I believe in knots landing, I believe in all
that T.V. crap."
-The Dead Milkmen
"Why kill one person when you can kill a lot of people?"
-Evil Nick
"Cool! That's cool!"
-Andreas Quinones
Tiger= R.E.M. is the only good band that came from the 80's.; Matt=
R.E.M. fuckin' sucks.
-Tiger Rhodes and Matt Presutti
Birth is the leading cause of death.
-Jordan Weinfurtner